What do you do when what seemed right, goes wrong...
I suddenly had perplexing and somewhat saddening thought so I decided to blog about it to get it out. In the past 4 years, I've made many new friends, kept some old friends, (unfortunately) lost some friends, and developed some older acquaintances into better friends. I understand that these things happen in life all the time. What I'm having trouble accepting is how some people can change so much in the course of a few years. I'll give a few examples to share what's troubling my mind.
This may seem really trivial and hackeneyed, but when you've had a friend for most of your life, then you get to college, and they start hanging out with a different crowd, that different crowd just completely changes who they are. A person who once seemed humble, innocent, and trustworthy, now appears more selfish, unruly, and egotistical. I may sound like I'm exaggerating this change, but it really feels like a huge difference after college. I've known this person for a very long time and only recently has this change surfaced. We were once good friends, but now I've felt that we've grown completely apart. Must I live to just accept this change? Is there nothing I can do to reverse the situation? Should I?
Another old friend is now dating a guy, who I found out was notoriously known as a player and... a guy that gets around the block... I want to look out for my friend's best interest, but because we are not the closest of friends, I feel intrusive even mentioning it. I wouldn't say she's the type that dates around a lot, but she does hang out with a lot of different people. Again, do I need to and should I do anything? I want to trust her instincts, but I'm not 100% sure. When people "fall in love" they do some stupid things, you know? Some might draw the comparision that if I were a doctor, and I saw a patient doing something that could be detrimental to their health, it would be my obligation to tell them to stop. However, when the two of you are friends, that really complicates the issue. You don't want to hurt your friends feelings, but yet they could get hurt if you don't. "Choose the lesser of two evils"... but I don't know which one is the lesser...
I have known another friend for a very long time. This person has also changed significantly after coming in to college, but it wasn't the result of hanging out with a new crowd. I don't really know what caused the change, but someone who once appeared to be a smart, witty, and hardworking individual suddenly just gave up trying. I can't pinpoint the cause at all. I don't want to become their parent and tell them to get their ass going, but I don't want them to have a bad future either. I can't let someone who could've had a bright future just fall away can I? What if I tried to give advice, but it didn't lead anywhere? Do I need to try harder some way? Why do some people just give up trying? Some people say as humans, one of our strengths is our will to perservere, and push through to survive. Why don't I see it in everyone? Is finding motivation difficult for some people? Why?
Here's a different story. Two of my friends (one long time friend and one I've made in college) have recently discovered their passion for their intended career. (So what bites? What's wrong with this one?) Nothing really I suppose. Except I feel that the person is sacrificing a lot to get where they want to be. I can't blame them for being fervent in their goals, but sometimes I feel like they're missing out on the essentials of life. Doesn't really date much, seems a little anti-social, but at the same time, has a bad habit of thinking down on people he meets if they're not "up to snuff" or have a different attitude on life than them. I kinda get the feeling that people like this will eventually grow up to be really anal-retentive people, too career focused, and overall are very pessimistic about the world around them. Yes, in order to get into a competitive field, you must be cutthroat. However, I feel like my once, kind and generous friend is becoming an asshole. (sorry to be so direct) I can't really blame him for acting that way since his intended field requires a person to be always on top of their game. Confidence is a must, but when a person starts acting like a jerk because they start thinking their better than everyone else? I think that's pretty absurd. Should I try to open their eyes and tell them to stop acting like a jerk? Yeah, I think I should. Will it hurt their ego and their mindset for pursuing their career? Maybe, or maybe it won't even affect them.
Regardless of what I wish would happen or what could happen, what will happen is change. I'm learning to accept all of these changes that have happened so that I won't be hurt when they affect me. I'm trying to learn how I can help my friends change for the better. Isn't that what friends are for?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home