happy bday... to me =)
After a very depressing week of work and life, my bday rolled around on the 30th day of July. I arranged a bbq for a bunch of friends, we went bowling afterwards, and then hung out at my cousin's apt. Man what a night to remember... I'd like to thank all my friends who were able to come, and to all those who couldn't, I'm sorry but you all missed out. =P I don't have pictures to show this time because I can't afford one, and I forgot to ask anyone else to bring one, so yeah not many pictures.
I feel really old now that I'm 20. There isn't much that comes with being 20, but the fact that you've just gone over into the category of people who have 2 decades under their belt... makes you feel really old. Maybe part of it comes from seeing all the HS kids coming into QFC. Although I think my back is starting to hurt, my eyes are going bad, and I'm starting to develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. *sigh* These bodies we inhabit were just not made to last. Not that that's a bad thing. Well, I gots 2 midterms this week and a bunch of other stuff so I'm going to have to cut this short. Blah.
life has a tendency kick your ass even after you've been down...
Disclaimer: Note to audience that the following entry contains some pretty ugly stuff since the author's apparent demise due to his new job. There is profuse swearing and some nasty commentary regarding his new and former company so read at your own risk.
So if you don't know, I went back to work at QFC, this time as a cashier. I should be happy right? I'm probably gonna be paid more, I don't have to do the bitch work anymore and all I have to do is count money. It can't be that hard right?
And it isn't. But the work is not the problem. One main problem is that after I got my first paycheck, I found that I'm NOT making more, and I actually make less than I used to at my previous and lower position. Hell, there are probably people who work at the bottom of the ladder who make more than me. This is what has gotten me pissed today. I went back, hoping to make some decent money in hopes to move out next year, but how can I expect that to happen when I'm making a few dimes above min wage? I mean really, the people at QFC are biggest dicks in the world. I guess what they really meant, when I asked them what I starting wage and their answer was "I actually don't know what you'll be starting at," was "you're going to start from the bottom again but I don't want to tell you that now." So of course I go talk to the manager, who happens to be the fourth manager ever since I started working there, and this guy is probably the worst out of all 4 that I've seen. I thought the last manager was bad. This guy beats him by far. He really puts people down and puts the pressure cooker on Fck'n high. I feel bad to even approach him because of the crap I know I'll have to deal with. So he tells me that they had thought all along that I'd be starting from square one all over again. (FYI: the more hours you work, and after you reach a certain # of hours, you get auto pay raises, which is good and bad; means you have to work a lot to get a good wage; but the raises are there if you work for it) So basically, the 17 months that I spent at QFC was pretty much negated. Yup, the fuckers really screwed me over this time. And the crappy thing is, everyone in the store remembers me and knows what kind of worker I am. There is a reason why the other manager hired me back as soon as I called them back. I mean shit, they have this "checker freeze" (means they can't hire any cashier/checker people) that just happened to occur when I get out of school, thus I don't get hired until after the 6 month mark of the time I quit, which ultimately led to my current shitty situation. Argh, I got fucked over hella bad this time.
It really makes me start to think twice about working for someone again. What sucks even more, is that if I decide to quit on them, seeing as how I got the shaft, the unfortunate and painful consequence would be that I would not be able to put down all the blood and sweat I shed for this company on any future resume or reference. This would be a significant blow to me considering how much time and energy I invested into working for this damn company, to suddenly throw it all away.
Partly I may have brought some of this upon myself b/c I tried to call in sick and swapped a shift w/ someone in my first week... However, I do feel that I have a fair argument in that I made it extremely clear with the managers who hired me of the hours that I would be able to work yet for some damn reason it slipped their minds. The same way telling me I'd start at square one, a few fucking cents above min wage just happened to slip their minds when I was hired. Gosh I just wanna burn the place down or something. I can't believe my image as a hard, dependable and especially amiable, worker got tarnished because of this. Yes, I think highly of myself and that is because I felt I gained the trust of many other people there and I trusted them. Too bad that relationship crashed and burned me in the end.
If you've read this far, I'm surprised that you haven't found anything else to do aside from reading my anger online. I guess in order to make this worthwhile in some way, I'm going to give some advice. Always watch your ass wherever you work. Don't take the eternal words "It's a cold, dark world out there" for granted. Not everyone is as nice as they appear and there's always someone out there to get you. Even if you just met them.
iPod Flea!!!
http://www.layersmagazine.com/features/feature_cs2/flea.htm
good times with old friends
So today was my old buddy, Why K's 20th B-day. Happy B-day man! The next decade will definately be one to remember for your life. So we went out for dinner at Il Fornaio (?), which is this italian restaurant in Pacific Place. A decent restaurant with a midranged prices ($$) and fair portions. Try it if you haven't. Now, duh duh duh duh.... presenting a new highlight to my blog that I have never done before... PICTURES!!! Yup, I have pictures to show people. Disclaimer: Yes, I jacked these pictures from Ching, thanks a lot for giving me the hook up since I can't afford a camera... =/ Ok without further delay...
Mr. EVOO man that inhabited our table for the duration of our meal. (Comprised of pure EVOO and some balsamic vinegar ;))
Back at home, we opened some presents and all... kinda look high I guess...
Some more than others...
And others, just looked too happy... I guess
Why K is admiring his postcard of a man doing some... ehem... stuff, from his friend from Italy!
Why K getting ready for homecoming again?? I think he needs a dress from Belle^2
Who's the mysterious man behind the camera?
Group Pic!
Wait, what was supposed to happen here?
WOAH THERE... Crazy Picture~!!
And that pretty much wraps up what happened. Great story, no? Well that's all I have for now, maybe something else later.
about the job posting...
I may have not noted this before, but the huge thing about relationships as jobs thing? yeah I didn't write that. I just happened to find it as I was perusing a few of the xangas I read (some are very good reads). I don't necessarily agree with the piece of writing, I merely found it as an interesting take on what relationships are. In no way would I ever condone someone in such a demanding position of a relationship nor would I hold one. Of course there are generalized roles that are played out by two people in a relationship, but those lines are often gray and bend different ways w/ different couples. However you want to conduct your relationship is your deal, I can't do anything about it. Even as I type this, trying to not sound like I'm taking a side is hard. Like, yes, I agree that guys have their certain jobs in a relationship as do girls, but at the same time, different couples do things different. That's life. I think this guy took the prototypical relationship and tried to shove it down everyone's throats, which could serve as a wakeup call for some who forget what a traditional relationship looks like, but at the same time scare a lot of people who want a relationship and do not know what to expect sometimes.
Well quite frankly, I could go on and on about this even more, but I'm very tired. These past 2 weeks have been quite hellish with me as it comprised of 4 tests, a hellish training camp to become a checker all the friggin way in Renton, and working more hours than I bargained for EVEN when I told QFC that there would be no way I could manage more than 20 hrs, let alone a bloody 27 hours a week. Yeah, I'm tired, I've been avging probably 5 hrs of sleep a night for the past, God knows how long. Time to check out.
i really dunno why i'm posting more than i should...
Reason why NBA games are better than WNBA games...
http://poststuff2.entensity.net/071505/media.php?media=jamcam.wmv
Just watch and be wary whenever
you go to a WNBA game...
first day back to work...
So I lied about not writing again. I just felt that today was full of stuff after my first day back to work that I had to write a blurb about it.
Overall... a very stressful experience. I haven't had to deal with so many customers before. Obviously I made a few mistakes here and there, but I hope that I didn't shortchange anyone nor did I make any other money mistakes... =X I just thought it was really dumb of the management to take their newest guy, give him 8 friggin hours on his first day of work, not to mention one of the busiest days of the week, and to top it off, lets let him close the store by himself with a "stand-in" manager who really isn't a manger. I think my company is run by geniuses... Not to mention, this week they gave me 27 hours.............. when I told them explicitly when I was hired that I wouldn't be able to handle more than 20. I know it's really bad, but I think I'm going to have to call in sick already... I do have 2 tests and a quiz this week. >_<;; So much work... *sigh* My managers couldn't even tell me what my starting pay was. It better be worth it in the end...
The most interesting thing that happened today, (when you see so many people throughout the day, you're bound to see some whacky stuff) was when I was ringing this middle-aged man up and I told him the amount due. He proceeded to empty out the coins from his pockets and bring out some cash and it all fell on the counter. I noticed 2 pills on the table in amidst all the coins, which he quickly grabbed up and chucked down his throat saying, "Oh forgot to take my pills, my wife would kill me if I didn't." I just stood there @_@ a little surprised not at his comment, but the fact that he carried his pills, unwrapped, in his pockets, next to all those dirty coins.... Sorry mister, but I don't think taking those pills would help anymore. u_u;; I'm sure I'll see a lot more whacky things people do throughout my job now that I see a lot more people. Well, that's a wrap, time to get back to life.
b/c I have time now...
But I probably won't write for a while, as I am starting work again next week. Bastards at QFC gave me 27 friggin hours when I told them last week that there was no way I could handle over 20 with summer school. I feel really bad, but I'm gonna have to call in sick already... I have 2 more bloody midterms and an econ quiz that I already had to postpone due to checker training. So yeah, outlook on life for the short-term is a little bleak.
In more depressing news, I went to go get a haircut today at my typical place, Great Clips on the island. Usually, they don't due a great job, it's passable and I don't care too much because I'm a guy and all I really need to due is gel it in an aerodynamic yet stylish way. Not this time. This time was much different. So I walk in and I see 3 barbers. 2 of which I had had before cut my hair, and neither did a fantastic job. Then I saw this middle aged asian-looking but could've also been some other ethnicity w/ dark skin & black hair. I thought, man, finally an asian lady to cut my hair! Boy was I more wrong than ever. She sat me down and asked me how I wanted it. I gave my typical generic yet at times ambigious answer(because I still am not really sure how to describe the hair I want) to her and she said, "like that picture?" pointing to a picture of a kid w/ a similar hair style that I usually sported. I say "Yeah, kinda like that, and keep the front of my hair slightly longer than the rest of my hair." So then she picks up the sheers and takes a little longer than a barber does with putting the clip on. This didn't startle me at first, but once she started hacking, and I mean hacking, I was getting more and more nervous by the minute. She ran that electrical sheers through my hair like a lawnmower and I just kept on telling myself, Dude, it's pretty hard to screw this up since there's a set clip that keeps hair a certain length. So I do the crazy, and ask "So how long have you been working here, I haven't seen you around before." She replies, "Oh... just 2 months... *5 second pause*... So what are you doing this summer, working at all?" "yes................." And then there was silence for the rest of the time, as I silently screamed my heart out as I saw her attempt to use scissors to cut my front hair... GOOD GOD I screamed in my head as she cut WAAYYY too much with her scissors. I wanted to tell her to stop, but for some reason I couldn't reason myself to do it. I thought, it's too late Jason, she's already done too much damage, another barber couldn't save this sad heep of protein that used to be your once beautiful locks. So afterwards I just walked out and made a dash to my car, hoping not to be noticed by anyone I knew...
I've decided from now on, I'm not gonna be tempted by low prices and convience of location when picking my barber from now on. I can't stand this ever happening again. I pretty much got a buzz cut from this lady, and I could get one of those for like $5 on the ave or something. I didn't pay $14 for some inexperienced lady to practice her hacking-jutsu on my hair. So if any of you know of a good barber that they can recommend in either Bellevue or near downtown Seattle that cuts asian hair, LET ME KNOW. I need a new place to cut my hair with seasoned barbers. I'm willing to pay a decent amount I guess, but nothing extravagant. Like I wouldn't go to Jean Guarez for a cut. I'm not that concerned about getting a good cut... although I wish all barbers were required to get the same amount of training their barbers did... =/
Summer isn't supposed to be like this...
Summer isn't suppose to be like this... there should never be a week that you have to get less than a grand total of 30 hours of sleep, a week that you don't even see your friends outside of school, a week that you really wish would just be over, and a week that you just feel exhausted after, not because you've had too much to drink or partying. I can't believe I'm awake right now. After having 2 midterms for physics and microbio, I thought it was gonna be an early 4 day weekend due to going to training for being a checker at QFC. (Just got rehired by them, took them long enough) But like other things this summer, I was wrong again.
The training session is held from friggin 7am - 3pm and is all the way out in Renton. Ok, so initially, Renton isn't that bad of a drive from MI right? NOT AT 630 in the morning and middle of the afternoon..... I've never seen that much traffic on I-5 when I'm going to school!! I knew a lot of Boeing people went to work, and others go up to Seattle, but it was almost stop and go the entire time! So after I get to Renton, I follow the directions as mapquest tells me, but low and behold... they were wrong. u_u;; The stupid directions told me to turn left on a N 3rd street after "going straight" on one street when it was supposed to be, turn at the first left onto NE 3rd. Yeah, I'm really bitter because not only was I late 20 minutes, but I also had to sit in more stop and go traffic after I found out I had gone too far and QFC was obviously nowhere to be found. So after I get off at 3pm, I'm tired already, but there's physics hw that I haven't the slightest clue to work waiting for me because I had to skip lecture... I knew I wouldn't have time to do it today since I would have another 8 hours of training, so I tried to do as much as possible yesterday. Ended up costing me more sleep and I didn't even finish it all. So I wake up the next bloody morning at 6am and start to head out, confident because I knew exactly how to get there today. Guess what, my car died on the on-ramp to I-90 east. I didn't even have a "running-chance." (Better to have died on the on-ramp than on the actual freeway though, Thank God) Ended up being late again, came home tired again, worked on physics again. Thanking my lucky stars again, my friend Deb managed to help me with the problem and I finished the hw. You're a life-saver Deb!!! I owe you one. And here I sit now, just kinda wishing everything would miraculously change for the better, but I'm know I'm gonna have to wake up early yet again tomorrow to get my bloody Food Handler's Card renewed since they only last 2 years...
Hrmm, all the hassle that I've gone through to just get my job back and work as a checker, so far seems very... how should I put this. I kinda feel like, why should I go through so much trouble to be a checker if I know I won't even keep this job for a year? I know my main goal of working again was to make money so that I could move out next year, but with all the delays and things in the way, I don't actually start until next week... It's already been 5 weeks into summer!! That's a few hundred dollars that I could have made! =/ *sigh* I dunno, I'm just getting restless and grouchy right now after this week. I need sleep some and find some relaxation time. I need to also not let work take over my life. I knew I'd get hired by QFC b/c they are in dire need of help, but they are also trying to milk everything out of me by scheduling me hella hours. No way I can handle 13 credits and near 30 hours of work. I'm done for now. Time to go release some stress in basketball.
Interesting video
Found this video online... fyi: it's mainly for the guys out there but girls probably won't find it that interesting.
http://www.ryoni.com/news/136/ARTICLE/1365/2005-04-12.html
I just don't get why the idiot guy is running away >_<
Now Hiring...
My Job:
I know my job and I own up to it, I learned the hard way - but I own up to it now. My job is to be decisive when you say "what do you want to do tonight?" My job is NOT to say, "I dunno, what do you want to do?" It is my job to say, "I would like to [verb here] to [insert place] and [activity here]. Yet, I must also know when you have your own idea and actually want me to say, "I don't know, what about you?" How should I know? That's my job as a man. I must know. I do know.
My job is to pay for dinner even if you say you want to pay half. My job is to be ambitious in my career and make enough money that if we live together and your career takes a turn for the worse - I would have the money to afford to keep you fed and healthy AND sexy (we will talk about you being sexy below).
My job is make you feel safe with me. If I have to act like a psycho killer once in a while when someone is being threatening around you and endangering your well being, even if it means I might end up in jail for the night (when I break his arm and jaw for trying to rape you), I do it. Yet I need to know when to be cool and aloof most of the time when you are just engaged in friendly flirting. I have to NOT feel threatened when guys stare at you, not be jealous when they flirt, not be insecure when you flirt back, just relax and enjoy your happiness. Ok? I figured it out. I know. I am not jealous by nature so this job is easy. But the moment a guy mistakes one of your signals (which happens because you don't quite realize all the signals you give off) and starts trying to do something to you against your will, I need to be ready to be incarcerated after I make him sorry. That's fine. Hopefully it will never get that far and my sharp tongue will scare him off, but I know what I am supposed to do if it does get that far and I will tell the judge that I had to break the guys ribs because it was my job. I recognize that obligation. I agree to it every day when I put my pants on, or when we take a photo and you have to lean into me (we know who is who). I don't lean into you. We don't have photos of me sitting in your lap.
My job is to intuit, using my sexual psychic powers, when you need to be objectified and fucked like an animal (yet still ensuring your orgasm) or spanked or hair pulled, or more, and when you need gentle love like what you saw in that romantic movie you watched. I need to also magically know when you want it quick and urgent and when you want it to take all night. And when you scream the very painful words "fuck me harder," even whilst I am fucking as hard as I can and running out of breath, it is my job to find a way to do it harder. Yes, it is tough, but it is my job, I accept it. All the hours I spend at the gym will help me fuck harder when I am supposed to. I work hard for you. And somehow, most of the time, I have to figure all this out without anything but your body language and your subtle female hints. Fine, it may not be easy, but I accept it and I do my best because this is how it works.
It is also my job to be funny and entertaining yet a little dark and mysterious at times. Don't ask me how either. But, I can do it. You can't teach that by the way. God forbid you should be able to figure me out entirely. Your boredom means the end of good sex, orgasm and eventually the relationship. Or it just means the beginning of the nagging and bitching, which neither of us want. I realize that. I accept that. I have to be your clown, yet keep your respect. Get you to laugh at me, but not reduce my prowess in your eyes. It is a fine line. It is my job to walk it and know how to keep mystery alive, maintain your respect and awe of me as a man and at the same time make you smile when you need it and keep things light when you get too lost in your intensity.
It is also my job to make you feel comfortable to express yourself to me, to listen, to show you I care (without ever caring too much). I have to care for you and show love without ever making you feel that I am more sensitive than you, more emotional, more emotionally intelligent, sweeter or more romantic. If I cross those lines, you will run from me and say I am too nice - or just not feel complete because I am walking in your territory as a woman. Again, that's fine with me. I know the line, I will walk on the right side of it and I will accept responsibility when I screw up. I will be your listener and still ignore you at the right time, or fuck you like a bar room whore when I need to. I can figure out what to do when, or at least accept that it is my job to figure that out. Call me a multi-tasker. I recognize that sometimes you need to be told to shut up and put in your place or sent to your room, but still left to feel like you can express yourself freely to the guy (me) who loves you. No one taught me that. I had to figure it out.
And when you get into a car accident, and the guy you hit is yelling at you and you call me on the cell phone, I need to be able to drop what I am doing and effectively manage whatever tragedy has occurred. Sure, you can do it yourself - you might even resent girls who are helpless in such situations - I am not criticizing your skill set here at all. I am just saying that when tragedy goes down, and [if] you are in need of help, I need to take care of it. The relationship requires that I be able to stay calm and solve problems when you can't. And you know you can smell fear in a man. If you catch the slightest hint that I am just as intimidated by the tragedy as you are, forget it, I will sit in your lap for the next photo. Of course there are tragedies where you need to take charge - I will cover that in a few minutes.
Now in exchange for me doing my job well and keeping our relationship alive and well, you will have to do your part as well. If one of us fails to perform his/her role, the arrangement crumbles and I become an asshole and/or you become a nagging bitch. I know. I have seen it on TV, in the grocery store on a Saturday morning, in restaurants etc... It's all around us. All the couples fighting - where you can just feel their bitter energy and you know they are doomed - that’s why. One of them did not step up and the relationship is crumbling. And you say, "no, maybe it was something else." Perhaps. But most likely it is what I am talking about here.
Now you: There are many jobs for you. Your first and last job are the same. The rest of the list is important too, but they don't work if you don’t do your first job first. Your first job is to be sexy in the way that you can be. It is your job to discover your own natural sexiness, manifest it, AND your job to figure out what I think is sexy. How do you normally attract men? If you think it is by wearing your thong above your jeans so that everyone can see it - then you are a moron. If you think it is getting wasted at some club and making out with your best girl-friend while guys cheer - you are an idiot. I have met you already, you bore me. I think you need to pull your pants up, drink less, bathe more and try to be more original than the Girls Gone Wild video that your former boyfriends got boners watching.
I have heard girls get upset about this. They say, "it is not my job to be sexy all the time," or "It is not my job to meet your definitions of sexy." And I say, bullshit. Have you never stepped outside? Who raised you? It IS your job. It may not be your job to be sexy ALL the time, but you better believe it is your job to be sexy when you are around me, my friends, our friends, and the neighbors. I am not saying you have to dress up, I am only saying you need to figure out where/what and how to create your sexiness and make sure I agree with it. Sure you can have your off-days where you don't change your underwear until noon the following day, or you are bloated and gassy and you just can not be sexy. That’s ok - I like girls who are real - I will still love you. I know you fart and get acne in strange places sometimes and have all kinds of biological processes that are esoteric to me - those things don't turn me off either, afterall I like real girls. I just ask that you manage and control the things that are in your control. But don't let me catch you eating pork sticks everyday and then complain that your stomach hurts and you have the runs for weeks.
You be sexy. Eat right, wear sexy underwear (which I will gladly buy for you), comb your hair and as you dress in the morning DON’T ask yourself, "will this outfit make guys at the county fair want to jerk off on me? If yes, then change and stop wearing shirts with your name airbrushed on them. Ask something like, "Would this look turn my man off if I were giving him head and he were looking at me." or "would my man be proud to walk with me in this outfit?" This question will keep you from dressing like your grandmother, a nun and the lonely lady you work with that, when she shows up in the morning you look at her clothes or hair and murmur, "what is she thinking? And she wonders why no men are attracted to her?" Don't be that woman. You be sexy. Ask the right questions when dressing in the morning.
I want to love the sexy girl who will occasionally be ugly. Not the girl with no taste who once in a while gets lucky and looks nice. Now, I don't want to discourage girls who feel unsexy most of the time. In cases like that - I just ask you to not book me on those days - lets have some away time.
And you need to be able to figure out when not to be sexy, like: when meeting my perverted father, when I am sick in a hospital bed, incapacitated and unable to move, but only able to see that some male interns and you are talking about my condition. At that moment you need to be clinical and NOT sexy; when you are at the dentists office and he is about to put you under (wear ugly stuff), when I am feeling down on life and we go to a party - don't be hot, you are only going to get me to sink lower. Just be nice looking or better yet, suggest that we cancel and have some "us" time.
I can not tell you how to locate your inner sexiness - but I can offer you some advice on how to avoid being unsexy.
Unsexy: always wearing a seamless sports bra, especially girls who dont play any sports and have no athletic ability (unless complaing and nagging count. I dont count them). Fine for sporting times or gym time, very sexy when sweaty - I may grab you and want to get animalistic on you. But to wear them on a day to day basis because they are comfy is to completely give up on life, or to say "I have a boyfriend now, nothing matters anymore." You do your job and stay sexy and I promise to work-out regularly, keep my cholesterol low, dress well, pluck my ear hairs, get laser hair removal whereever else, not leave you hanging when it is your turn to orgasm and not to wear my dirty sweat pants. Just you keep your sports bra for work-out time.
Unsexy: Bras with big thick (wide) straps in the back or over the shoulders. That's just weird. Ok, at times it is necessary, like when you are all swollen up from breast feeding and you need more strap-strength to hold your product in place. Or if you have a very large chest. But outside of that, what is wrong with you? Under what assumption are you operating where you concluded that the "nursing" look was sexy? Unless you want men to suckle you in a child-rearing kind of way, wear something else - lace is nice.
Unsexy: photos of yourself cramming food in your mouth, or cookies or an alcoholic beverage. Or photos with your mouth gaping open as if you are wasted and screaming at a party. I am out here working out, staying in shape and taking care of myself - for what? For you to cram cookies and beer into your mouth, run around drunk with your jaw hanging open? and take photos? No. We will not date.
Unsexy: Your growing gut. Pooch like Maya Rudolph - very hot. Gut like post high school ex-jock? It is diet time.
Unsexy: yellow underwear. You wear it, you sleep on the couch. I don't want to see it and I don't want it touching my laundry.
Unsexy: panties with little cutesy polka dots on them or any pattern that looks like something a 4 yr old girl would wear at her pajama party. Save those for when you feel puffy and bloated and want to snuggle with your stuffed animals and eat chocolate ice cream.
Unsexy: Girls who are nutso about shaving and plucking. I know you don’t want your eyebrows to look like Santa's - but why remove them entirely and then draw a line with a pencil? Are you my grandma? And your pubic hair is not your enemy - starchy food is your enemy. Unless it actually makes you physically uncomfortable - it is ok to have some pubic hair. Yes, porn has become mainstream now - and all those chicks are shaved - but I don’t want the trash porn girl who fakes her orgasm or the Pamela Anderson wench, I want you. And Pamela Anderson is ugly anyhow - why doesn't the whole world know that? You be you.
Sexy: girls who take care of themselves physically and emotionally. Girls who manage aspects of themselves that are in their control. Meaning, I don’t care if you are short, tall or medium, have huge breasts or no breasts, brown hair or red hair, enormous feet or a funny nose - you have little control over what you were given. So I don’t judge those things. I just ask you to take care of what is yours to take care of. Don’t tell me that your ass is fat because that is your body type - and then shovel lasagna down your throat 3 days a week. We have a deal. I will do my part. You do yours. Stay thin - meaning if you are 130 pounds - you need to stay around 125 to 135. I like slender girls or muscular or thin or thinner than average. Slender does not equal thick. If you look like Minnie Driver or Kate Winslet - then your excess weight is hot and I love it.
Your other jobs are very important as well. It is your job to nurture. If I am down and not feeling so great, you need to be building me back up. You need to be reading self-help books once in a while and see to it that we are both emotionally balanced. You need to make sure that we both communicate what is bothering us and all that stuff that you women want us to talk about in relationships. I need that. Do your job, I respect it. And when I am not feeling like such a man, you need to find it in yourself, even if you have to fake it, to build me right back into the alpha male that I should be.
Your job is to lean into me when we take a photo - but you should know that.
Your job is to find it in yourself to want to do things that the last 3 decades told you were not women's work. You know - the huge double standard - how you were taught that it isn't your job to do anything that your dad expected your mom to do, yet you still expect me to open doors for you, fuck you like the world is ending, be strong, buy you nice things when I can, make money, jump in front of a bullet for you, provide security for you, take initiative and make you feel safe. Well you don’t get it both ways. I told you I would do my job. You must do yours. Personally, I like to cook and clean, do my own laundry and wash dishes and I am not asking you to do ANYTHING for me. But if I need help in that area - you better put on an apron and cook some food, or make the bed, or offer to make sandwiches on rare occasions when my friends are over, or do some laundry or fold something, sweep - whatever because you WANT to do it. Again, I am not asking you to do those things, I will do them myself when they need doing. Your job is not to be my maid at all, your job is to WANT to care for me in those ways and/or offer or just jump in and help when I am doing it myself. I will help you too - but don't refuse to do stuff because you feel offended because you learned in your college class that men oppress women. Personally, I only know oppressed men and frustrated women. Men afraid to be men and women who are frustrated with them.
But its harder than that. And you can blame your feminist aunt. You have to figure out how to be all that while also being modern and knowing how to hang with the guys. Don’t ask me to explain that - I would not know how to pull it off. But I have some touch jobs to do that I cant explain either.
You do that, and when the guy is shooting at us I will take the bullet. When the bad man is attacking you, I will make him sorry. When you wreck your car - I will get it fixed. When you break your leg, I will carry you to the hospital. When the heater doesn't work, I will chop wood. But believe me, if you refuse to do your part you can walk yourself to the hospital with a broken leg and bullet in your chest while fleeing the bad guy - because I will have left you.
Your job is to be in charge of our morality. If we are at a dinner party and I say something a little mean to someone and you notice it. It is your job to pull me aside and say, "that was wrong - you go and apologize because you hurt that persons feelings." I won't like it - but I will obey. You are doing your job and I respect it. I will somehow find a way to go apologize.
You are in charge of the our emotional health. Even if I say I am fine. When you notice that I have some unresolved issue that I need to work on, I have to listen and do whatever it takes - even if it means seeing a therapist or counseling or reading some stupid book. You are in charge and you must find a way to do this without ever being bossy or over-critical. How do you do that? I don’t know. It's a tough job and only you can do it. My job is not easy either.
When we are having friends over for dinner and I say that it doesn't matter if everyone has matching napkins and you say it does matter. You better believe we will have matching napkins.
When I feel like not going to the new stupid shit museum and you think that it is better than me sitting around the house on Saturday playing with my computer - you better believe my ass will be going with you to the museum and with a smile on my face.
You will also select my clothing when we shop. And I will obey, pay and wear it - whether I like it or not. You will pick out my cologne, my soap, my whatever, to meet your tastes.
Your job is to rule all of the things you can rule, by using my love for you against me, by teaching me shame for wrong-doing, by communicating what is in your heart - and whatever, without ever nagging, being a non-sexy bitch, emasculating me or smothering me. It’s a fine line - but you must walk it.
I will enforce my power by giving you verbal commands to which you will obey. You will enforce your power by giving me the guilt/shame stare or the silent resolute, refuse to look at me stance - both of which usually will trump all my power. I respect your power, you respect mine.
If you are interested in your job as I am interested in mine - then please write me. Maybe we can negotiate something. Until I hear from you, I wil be here earning and saving money for our future security as well as the gifts and the underwear I will be buying you. I am open to discussing the terms if some of your job is not agreeable to you. Please state your height/weight and/or just send a photo of more than just your face. Your photo gets mine.
all weekends should be this cool
I hope everyone's 4th of July weekend was funfilled and a blast. Mine started off great but ended on a much lower note. So Friday, the 1st was my bud, Twong's 20th bday and he had a party at his house. Ran a grille, grilled some burgers, played Catch phrase for a while and then played a huge game(s) of ultimate frisbee. I've learned that I can now run on my ankle, kind of... I spent lots of time catching up with some friends that I haven't seen in a long time and a few HS people that I haven't seen since HS graduation. It's great to chat with people you haven't seen in a long time and see what they've all been doing. I'm kinda looking forward to my HS reunions simply to see where some people have gotten and if I guessed right about em... Have you guys ever thought about your own reunions and people who you'd never think you've seen again and what they turned out like? (a huge mouthful)
Saturday was low key for the most part. Had lunch with my maternal grandma and aunt from NY who both happen to be here on a trip now. Then went home and chilled until around 4, which is when I went to go see Batman Begins. Then for dinner, we ate with my cousin Jen's family at the Shanghai Garden in chinatown. On Sunday, hung out with the extended family again, had lunch at the seattle Sushiland, which was really good. They have a lot more variety there I've found. Later we went shopping in downtown and I got some clothes from the massive sales that seem to be everywhere now. That night we had yet another family dinner at Purple Dot, a restaurant I had previously vowed never to go back again after have terrible experiences a few years back. Fortunately it isn't as bad now and the food is really cheap...Hrmm is this gonna change my opinion of it? Anyone have any input on this restaurant?
Finally we get to monday, which unfortunately was the low of the weekend. Not much happened today. I really wanted to go to Gasworks with my friends but that didn't work out. So I got stuck at home, but at least I managed to burn some fireworks with my other cousin Fred, his gf, and his other UW friend. He had a huge amount of bottle rocket type fireworks and even though we tried to be as creative as we possibly could, we couldn't light all of em =/ We tried tieing them together, sticking them in other fireworks, and other random stuff i don't remember. Hrmm, I'm gonna make it a goal next year to see the fireworks from gasworks because I've heard that's the best place to see em every year. I'm getting tired of lighting my own fireworks every year. Change is good!!
So I guess to make this post a little longer and more interesting, I'll give my review of Batman Begins. WARNING: THERE WILL BE SOME SPOILERS HERE SO BE WARY OF THAT FACT. Christian Bale stars as the latest Bruce Wayne/Batman hero in this tale that tells of the cultivation of Batman as the Dark Knight we know that kicks all the bad guys' asses. I like Bale as Batman, but I personally don't quite buy into him as Bruce Wayne. I imagine Bruce Wayne as more of a business tychoon kinda guy. Bale works as a the playboy he's portrayed in the movie, but it's not quite the same Bruce Wayne I'm used to. Batman's suit has no weird nipples or flashy emblems that plagued the other batman's so it won't distract the audience from what is great, the fact that he's a badass and you can't stop him. I thought the story was developed very well, albeit very quickly. The beginning felt very rushed to me and I think the movie could have been a bit longer (maybe closer to 2hrs?) and do a less rushed job. The movie does, however, do what it sets out to do very well. And that is to tell us how and why Bruce Wayne becomes Batman. If you're not into comics/fiction it's obviously going to be a stretch for you, but for the rest of the world we can finally understand what goes through Batman's head sometimes. Overall I can say I liked the film. Use of effects was very cool in the hallucination scenes. Batman's gadgets, although very primitive in this movie, were still cool. I cannot say I liked the villains though. Both were underdevloped and VERY WEAK characters. Weak as in you didn't really feel threatened by them. Katie Holme's role didn't seem like much but it was fairly necessary to Bruce Wayne. Hrmm... Oh, and I didn't really like person who played comissioner Gordon because he was much to small. Sure he looks the part but he doesn't really command much respect like a commisioner should. I guess he wasn't commisioner yet in this movie. I feel like I'm being a bit on the picky side when reviewing this movie but I really thought it wasn't bad. I'll give it a 6.5/10 because there were some small things that bothered me, but overall it was a good watch.
