My 2 cents

cool robots

http://vidmax.com/index.php/videos/view/1755

posted by Jason @ 8:40 PM 0 Comments

Ladies... take notes... ;)

6 secret guy turn-ons

By Matt Schneiderman

Sure, girlie-girl moves — a hair flip here, an eye batted there — will attract a guy... some of the time. But you may be surprised at the things guys really can’t resist about women, and some of them are the very qualities women fear will drive men away—from letting a curse word loose to leaving all kinds of makeup near his bathroom sink. Here’s why these habits and others actually win a man over.

1. He loves that you indulge at dinnertime. Guys love girls who love to eat—not girls who say they aren’t hungry and then pick at their date’s food all night. Paul, 30, who lives in Boston, thinks that food may be the reason he fell in love with his fiancée: “When we first started dating, I thought it might be awkward if I wanted greasy food like wings—I figured she’d think it was fattening or unhealthy. Women I’d dated in the past only wanted to go out for salad or sushi. But she was enthusiastic about eating all kinds of things with me. I loved that easygoing attitude of hers.” Aside from showing that you’re not high-maintenance or neurotic about your weight, that kind of unabashed enthusiasm also tends to translate into other areas—including the bedroom. “A woman with a healthy appetite for food tends to have a healthy appetite on all levels, and sex is absolutely a part of that,” explains Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., author of Emotional Fitness for Couples: 10 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship.

2. He loves your occasional obscenities. You may worry that it’s not ladylike, but occasionally letting a curse escape your lips at an unexpected moment can be a major turn-on. “Hearing a woman use profanity out of context gives a guy a shock of sexual adrenaline,” explains Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman and co-host of Discovery Health’s Love on the Rocks. “Men like women who can be tough and assertive, and as long as she doesn’t take the talk too far, it’s a positive thing.”

3. He loves that you aren’t a neat freak. Believe it or not, guys find the proliferation of hair products, accessories and unidentified stuff strewn about your apartment oddly sexy. “I love that my wife makes a bigger mess than I do,” says Ziad, 31, of Durham, NC. “When she cooks, food ends up all over the place. It shows that she’s carefree, and it reminds me to enjoy the moment rather than worrying about the consequences.” This laid-back mind-set also carries over into your weekend wardrobe. “Guys love a woman who’s not trying too hard,” explains Dr. Kerner. “Most men think a pair of boxer shorts and a ratty old T-shirt around the house is your sexiest look.” So don’t spend hours choosing the perfect date-night outfit or getting your place in House Beautiful–shape, because men love you just as you are—in your comfortable, slightly sloppy glory.

4. He loves your extra padding. Sure, you’ve heard that men love women with curves, but how about those extra pounds you’ve been trying to sweat off at the gym? There’s a good chance that your guy loves them, too. Just ask 26-year-old Nick: “My girlfriend exercises regularly, but I think the little pudginess in her thighs is sexy because it shows she’s not perfect.” Sure, your extra padding may make men feel a little better about their own beer bellies, but there’s also a biological reason why men like this. Psychologists at the University of TX determined that men were most attracted to women with hourglass figures — specifically, women whose waists were 60 to 80 percent smaller than their hips — regardless of their weight. They theorize that men unconsciously seek this body type because it signals that a woman is able to procreate.

5. He’s fascinated by your knowledge of medieval tapestries. Or whatever it is that gets you all hot and bothered—whether or not he shares the same interests. “It’s not about knowing facts—it’s about being passionate about something,” says romance columnist Mira Kirshenbaum, author of The Weekend Marriage. “These are things that are important to her, not just stuff meant to impress a guy.” This can be passion for a subject as seemingly obscure as agricultural practices of the Mayans or as popular as Spanish as a second language. He may not quite get it and he may not want to have all-night discussions about it, but he definitely appreciates the fact that you’re a smart, interesting woman who thinks for herself and doesn’t mold her interests to match those of her man. Your interests also fuel what Kerner calls the process of self-expansion. “The more you expand as a person,” he explains, “the more the relationship expands.”

6. He loves a good head rub from you. Don’t get me wrong—men love it when you grope their erogenous zones. But that’s not the only type of touch they crave. Adam, 28, of Roanoke, VA, confesses: “I love how my wife rubs my head at night.” Sweet, yes, but it also feels oh-so-good: Home to hundreds of nerve endings, the scalp is an often-neglected zone. And light touches anywhere can achieve a similar effect, since they cause his body to produce vasopressin, a feel-good relaxation hormone that also promotes bonding. Another positive side effect? Initiating any kind of physical contact sends your man the message that you want him just as much as he wants you—and that you truly care about him.

posted by Jason @ 6:46 PM 0 Comments

a nice article i thought i'd share

Is The One You're Dating "The One?" Some "just know" they've found the right person. Others walk down the aisle with profound doubts By Rachel Greenwald Tango magazine Updated: Jun 2, 2007 I was in college the night I met him. And even after all these years, the thing I remember most is the unexpected, very physical shiver that immediately ran up my spine when he looked at me. He's It, that shiver said. We talked, we flirted, we had our first date two days later. I fell hard. I loved that he was sweet, but not saccharine. I loved that he was Jewish, but not too Jewish. I loved that he was a fan of Hot Tamales, the candy I ate by the truckload back then. And (OK, call me shallow) I loved that he was an Ivy League graduate. Our odds were good: I was 20, he was 23, and we added up to the perfect couple. Except that after three years, as I was busy trying to drop the subtle hint that my ring size was 6 3/4, he was busy cheating on me. I found out, we broke up, and let's just say the next six months weren't pretty. I'm still not sure what got to me the most: the rejection or the fact that I had truly believed, in my gut, that my boyfriend was The One. So if that first shiver, followed by a fabulous three-year relationship, wasn't the telltale sign, how does anyone ever know who's right for them in the long run? Apparently, I'm not the only person who has struggled with this question. It came up again last summer, at my client Amy's wedding. I was seated at the "singles table," since brides often like to treat their unattached friends to my dating advice. The woman next to me leaned over and whispered, "When Amy met Kurt, she told me she just knew it was right. When will I ever feel that way?" Coached thousands of singles I knew the answer she wanted to hear. By now I've coached thousands of singles on how to find love, and watched hundreds of clients and friends trot down the aisle. But what I wanted to tell her was, "Maybe never." It wasn't that I didn't believe this woman would ever find the right guy. It was more that I feared “she might never know he was the right guy” she might never know he was the right guy. An hour earlier, sitting in the church, it struck me that what I was really witnessing was a crapshoot. Here was this couple at the altar, pledging their lives to each other. And as happy as I was for them, I knew the truth: When you get married, all you can really do is roll the dice and hope for the best. But everywhere I go, I meet smug married couples who love to relate the moment they "just knew" they'd found their life partners. As far as I'm concerned, it's revisionist history; if the marriage in question has worked out so far, they say they acted on their rock-solid gut. But if it ended in divorce, they confess to earlier doubts. To be frank, I don't believe anyone can really know this kind of information for sure -- and I speak not just from my college relationship, or from all my years as a dating coach, but from reflecting back on my own 1992 wedding. My jitters were epic, the kind that had my friends speculating on how long my marriage would last and the caterer reminding my mother that the deposit was strictly non-refundable. My smile was strained An hour before my ceremony, I nearly collapsed. As the photographer snapped pictures, my smile was strained; I was terrified. My fiance, Brad, and I had dated for two years and been engaged for one. We knew each other well. But did we know what the future would hold for us? Of course not. "So let me get this straight," my brain was saying. "I'm supposed to decide today to be with one person for the rest of my life because, up until now, things have been great? Because, so far, I still love him?" This made no sense. I was tormented by what everyone had told me for years about marriage in general, and my fiance in particular -- the old "you'll just know" or "trust your gut." Well, this time, I didn't know, and my gut had a bad stomachache. So naturally, I took the path of any good drama queen: I dropped my bouquet, slumped into a nearby chair, and burst into tears. Brad rushed over and shooed away the photographer. While he was aware that “I'd had many doubts during the past year” I'd had many doubts during the past year, he had none. My own hesitations, on the other hand, were quite serious; I'd even harbored a crush on another man during my engagement year. I'd confessed everything to Brad -- I did love him, after all, and wanted our relationship to be honest. But we were so different -- opposites in too many ways. (More than one friend had observed that we were a lot like that Green Acres couple from the '70s: I was "Gimme Park Avenue" and he was "Farm Livin' Is the Life for Me.") How could it work, I wondered, when reality would inevitably come knocking? We loved each other -- a lot, as it turned out. But what sane person could believe that love alone would pass the test of time, particularly when 50 percent of today's marriages end in divorce? So there I was: big white dress, mascara running. "How can I say 'forever'?" I sobbed. "It's too long to commit to!" Brad took my hand. "How about this," he said gently, not even remotely offended. "Can you commit to being with me for one year?" "Of course," I said, sniffling."That's easy, but -- " Ask you if you want to renew He interrupted me. "Then let's take it one year at a time. Publicly, we'll say our vows, 'until death do us part.' But privately, we'll have our own little arrangement. Each year on our anniversary, I'll ask you if you want to renew. We'll do this a year at a time. Can you do that?" Overwhelmed by the generosity of his answer, I said that I could. And I did. These days, my job is to help single men and women find the right mate -- and it's never simple. No one is perfect. Everyone has baggage. And when they're in that last stage of dating, trying to decide whether or not to make it permanent, my clients usually ask for my opinion. Do I think they should marry this one? Sometimes I say yes, sometimes no. But the truth is, I have no idea. Making that decision is like skydiving: It's a crazy thing to do if you think about it logically, but you pray that the ride down will be exhilarating and that you'll land on your feet. And in my experience, people take that leap of faith with naive confidence. Of course, some factors do seem to improve the odds -- especially age. I see fewer unhappy couples among those who get married later in life, specifically after 35. This is largely because they're making the decision to marry with more life experience under their belts. They're also committing to a fully formed person. Next comes personality. I've observed that opposites who complement each other often do very well. If you marry someone who's too similar -- especially emotionally -- you may wind up bored or in conflict. Try not to be judgmental Finally, try not to be judgmental right out of the gate. I often find that my clients have checklists founded on external, and not internal, traits. Why eliminate a potentially terrific guy because he's a few inches shorter than you'd ideally prefer? As a general rule, rigidity never pays. But -- and wouldn't love be easier if this weren't the case? -- it's different for everyone. Back at that singles' table, I was immersed, as usual, in conversation about dating and marriage. Everyone wanted to be a Knower. I lost track of the times I heard the words "The One," "Soul Mate," and "Mr. Right." I realized that the vocabulary these women used assumed that there was one right answer, and that the answer would be obvious when it arrived. I wanted to tell them -- but didn't -- that it's OK if they don't "just know," or if "Mr. Right" is "Mr. Probably." Sometimes a marriage can be stronger if you have reservations. If your bond seems a little fragile, you take better care to preserve it. The irony is not lost on me that my greatest fear -- committing to someone forever -- became the focus of my profession. But I like to think I was meant to spread the word that it's OK to have doubts -- even profound doubts -- before saying "I do." And, as my own 14th wedding anniversary approaches, I know Brad's question will come once again.Which brings me to the lovely part of this story: So far, things have worked out beautifully. Don't ask me how. He's really flexible; I'm really not. I'm perceptive. Him? Not so much. But in a few weeks, when he asks me if I want to renew my vows for another year, I just know what my answer will be.

posted by Jason @ 9:02 PM 0 Comments