Thursday, September 25, 2003

*sigh*::The following is my ranting about my life now and outlook for my college life:: (and then a little update about other stuff)

So UW starts in less than a week... Friends are about to move in. Fall O is happening over the next few days (argg my uckin' F key isn't working and it's driving me insane) I still have yet to prepare myself for what is going to happen there... ie: buy any needed school supplies, clean out my binder/backpack, get into any sort of "school mode". But I can't really get myself into it b/c I'm going to be living at home, and I realize that nothing is really going to change much for me. It's actually a painful realization due to many factors. So those of you who knew about and hung out with me on my "free week", probably know now that I'm grounded again for not obeying the stupid rule of not going out at night. It's pretty crappy knowing that I have to put up with this crap still when I'm 18 going into college. I feel like I'm still having to fight with my parents when I choose to do something. I don't even understand how it came this way... I'm not mischievous or immature. I've always been honest and constant. Never straying too far or doing wild things. When I do something unexpected, my parents freak and tighten their grip on me. Even when I do tell them ahead of time... I know a lot of you have heard this from me many many times, and know about my overprotective parents... But I don't know why they give me so much trouble... I feel like I'm the only one among eveorne else I know that has this problem. Did I really do something bad as a kid? Communication has never been really good in my family, I think because I was usually isolated at home for the most part except for school and family outings. During family outings, my dad would do pretty much all the talking for all of us... My sister and I would mainly shout for joy when we did something fun or complain when we didn't. My mom wasn't a very strong role, except for signing me up for random camps. I guess I somehow took in her antisocial-ness early on. Now I try very hard to get out more, even just to hang out. Well... One of these days I'm going to break out...

Ok, even that was enough ranting about that subject for me... I just pray that I'll be able to make a decent college life with what I have... Moving on. Work Sucks. Need to eat better/more so I can gain some weight and then work out... Lately I've been eating a bit of junk food... Random sweet drinks, corndogs, donuts and the such in hope of gaining some weight. But I don't think I've gained much if any. I do so much running around and lifting at work that I think I work it off. I've probably strengthened my legs from all the standing/running but that's it. I need to make use of the IMA soon.

Random change of subject: (great I forgot or the moment... >_<) I'm so not looking forward to homework again... especially in the massive amounts I know that it will come in... It's saddening that everyone's moving away. I know I'm talking as if I'm sad at the last moment, but it's really happening since everyone moves into dorms tomorrow @_@ (I make a lot of random subject changes) Ok, I"m tired of writing jumble of random thoughts now.

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